Enmity
by Lally
Summary: Matt and Jeff fall out, but can either of them cope without the other. (finished)


" Jeff Hardy with a swanton bomb and he's going for the pin, 1.2.Matt just pulled Jeff off Edge, that was for the tag team championship. What's going on? Matt just punched Jeff, oh my god, Matt and Jeff are killing each other." "Ooh Lita's going in to stop them. Jeff just K.O'd Lita, Do you think she needs mouth to mouth?" "Not from you, finally the officials have come to separate them"  
  
The officials dragged me out and I shook them off as soon as we were backstage but they weren't ready to leave yet, they were waiting for the all clear from Mr McMahon. I put my hand up to my lip. I was bleeding from where Jeff had hit me. "Damn him," I thought "why did he have to be so, so.Jeff?" Mr McMahon came out of his office and just looked at me. "Those fans out there, they're probably going home now wondering why the hell we would split up the most successful tag team we have. And what do I tell them, the truth? That Matt and Jeff aren't nice guys who get on really well and look after each other, that in fact they hate each other enough to risk their jobs by taking matters into their own hands and losing their tempers and wasting the story line because they can't wait until they get backstage before they start to fight, they have to do it live on TV injuring one of their friends in the process. Get the hell out of here Matt and I don't want to see you for the next 2 weeks, then we will meet up to see what further punishments need to be given?" " Yes Mr McMahon." I spoke through gritted teeth, pissed off because I was getting all the blame. "And Matt, I will have this talk with Jeff too, you are both to blame and I intend to make it very clear to both of you that I can't have behaviour like this backstage it's too bad for my company. You're lucky you're talented, otherwise you'd be out of here now and not coming back. Now go and make up with Jeff or your jobs are on the line."  
  
I grabbed my stuff, avoiding everyone I could and I ran out to my car. I got in and drove off. I eventually stopped in the middle of nowhere and put my head on the wheel. Damn. "DAMN" I shouted it. What happened? When did I suddenly start hating my baby brother? We used to be so close and then what? I didn't even realise that I hated Jeff until Vince said it, but it was true I hate Jeff. I felt guilty, knowing my mother was looking down on me and was disappointed in me. I'd be making her feel guilty as well. She always felt guilty when something went wrong as though she should have done things differently. Now she'd be feeling guilty for not being here. "I don't blame you Mom." I whispered as my face crumpled and I cried. I cried myself to sleep.  
  
I was woken up by the sound of my cell phone ringing. I picked it up to see who it was. Dad. I looked at the name written across my phone. I picked up. "Dad." "Matt, what happened? I was watching, you didn't tell me they were splitting you up." "They weren't" "Then why did you fight?" "Because we, we don't get on anymore Dad." "You argue? What about?" "Everything, we can't talk without ending up screaming at each other, and now we actually hurt each other." "You say it like it's the end of the world." "Isn't it?" "No, you've fought before and made up." "But I've never hated him before." I whispered. "You don't hate him, you're just angry still." "I do Dad, I didn't realise until today, but I hate Jeff." I knew Dad would realise it. He would hear it in my voice like I heard it in Mr McMahon's. "Bye Matt, You need to sort yourself out. If you hate your own brother then you have serious problems." He hung up. My own Dad hung up on me, now I had no family at all, I couldn't turn to Jeff or my Dad. Who could I turn to? I knew I could turn to Amy but I didn't want to, not yet. I didn't want her to see how horrible I was really. I looked at my phone deep in thought about who I could turn to and I thought of the answer Shane. I dialled his number and pressed call. "Hello?" "Shane, it's Matt." "How are you doin Matt?" "Not good." "Why? What's up?" "Jeff and I had a fight." "A bad one right?" "And I hate him." "Do you need somewhere to stay, so you can sort things out?" "Can I?" "Course, Man." "You're a mate Shane." "See you in a bit." "Yeah. Bye." I hung up and turned the engine on and drove up to Shane's.  
  
Jeff. I knew Mr McMahon was talking to me but I didn't really care, I was only half listening. ".in fact they hate each other." Hate? I don't hate Matt. Does he hate me? I couldn't hate Matt. I left when I was allowed and drove back to my Dad's house. When I got there I knew he knew, I could tell from his mood. I didn't say anything I went up to my room and lay on my bed. Then to sort things out in my mind, I wrote my diary.  
  
Hate. It seems as weird writing it as hearing it said. I don't hate Matt, I think he hates me but what I feel for him is much worse. Nothing. I don't love him or hate him. I just don't feel anything. It's like when Mom died. I was left with an empty feeling and now it's there again but this time for Matt, as though he's dead. I've lost him. We used to be close, when Mom died we were really close and now, what has happened? I really don't know, but I know I have to get him back.  
  
I got off my bed and climbed into the attic. I found the box with our old photos in it. I got them out and sat looking at a picture of Matt and I, in the summer after Mom died. We were on our trampoline. We'd just been wrestling but after tiring ourselves out we lay down on it. I remembered that photo being taken. Matt had his eyes shut but mine were open. I saw Dad sneaking up with the camera, signalling for me to keep it quiet. Then when Dad was ready to take the picture I tickled Matt at the last minute and he opened his eyes, smiling. As I sat there our fight earlier flashed through my mind. I saw it all in slow motion. Especially the moment when I knocked Amy out. I had to phone, to check that she was ok. I left the attic and went into the kitchen and dialled Amy's home number. I got her machine. I hung up and phoned her cell. "Hello?" "Amy are you alright, I'm so sorry." "Jeff! I'm fine. But what happened?" " I'm not sure but I think Matt hates me." "You think or you know?" "I know." "You've seen him since then?" "No, but I know he hates me." "Why don't you talk to him about it, I'm sure he doesn't?" "He hasn't been home and I don't know where he is. I don't think he wants to see me, and I'm not sure I want to see him." "You don't hate him." "I know, but I don't feel anything. It feels like he's dead and I don't even miss him." "You sound like you feel guilty." "I do." "Then you obviously feel something. You know that you should love him and you feel guilty because you don't think you do." "Yeah, but what can I do?" "I can't tell you. You need to find Matt and then together work out how to fix things." "Yeah I suppose." "Do it now Jeff. You can't let things stay as they are." "I won't." "Bye" She hung up. I sat on the table wondering where Matt would be. I thought he might have gone to Amy, but she would have said if she'd heard from him. Knowing Matt he wouldn't go to anyone from the WWF. He would be too embarrassed about what had happened. Who would he turn to? Someone who knew him well and could put up with his mood. One of our friends from omega. I made a list. I phoned down the list. The first two hadn't heard from him, but the third, Shane, paused. "He's there isn't he, Shane?" "I'm not sure he wants to talk to you man." "Can you tell him I'm on the phone?" "Ok I'll go see what he says." I waited, playing with the phone cord. "Jeff, He says he doesn't want to talk yet." " I need to talk to him. Is he in the room?" "Yes." "Can you put me on speaker phone?" "Ok." "Matt, Please just listen, I know you're not ready to talk yet, but I need to. I don't hate you bro. I'm not sure what I feel. But I know that I miss the way we used to be, back when we were younger, and" "Jeff, He's gone." Shane cut me off. "Did he listen at all?" "Not really." "Thanks for trying." "Bye."  
  
What now, he wouldn't even listen to me? I decided to sleep on it.  
  
Matt.  
  
I don't know why I left the room when Shane put Jeff on speakerphone. I didn't want to, I don't think. My body did though. It got up and walked out because of the sound of his voice. I wish I had someone to talk to but Shane's gone to bed and there's no one else. "What are you going to do now then Matt?" Shit, I'm talking to myself as well now. "Why do I hate my brother?" Asking it out loud helped. I know I'm jealous of him. I always have been. He's popular, beautiful and not scared of anything. Whereas I'm friends with people who I've met through my little brother, I'm insecure about my looks and I'm scared. I'm scared of losing my brother and I'm scared of relying on him. I have to tell him how I feel don't I?  
  
Dear Jeffy,  
  
Hey bro, I guess you're wondering why I'm writing to you. Well there are things I need to tell you that I can't say to your face. So I'm going to tell you now. I guess you had the same talk from Mr McMahon about us hating each other. I don't know how you felt when he told you that, but I know how I felt, and I thought it was true. I thought I hated you. I know now that that's not true, I'm jealous of you but I don't hate you Jeff. I hate myself, I'm my own enmity. It's like our roles were reversed, I was the little brother relying on the older one but I'm not. It's true though I do rely on you. You introduce me to all my friends and girlfriends and you give me courage, but you also scare me Jeff. I'm scared about losing you and I'm scared about not losing you. I'm scared that I'll never make it on my own in the big, wide world. I need to do it though Jeff. I need to face my fears. I'm going away for a bit. I'm not sure where to. I don't know how long for, but I need to go. I'm not sure if I can get in touch but I'll send a message somehow. I love you bro. Don't forget me.  
  
Matt. P.S Give Dad and Amy my love.  
  
I packed up my bag with the stuff I had at Shane's and then left him a note and my cell phone. I got in my car and drove to our Dad's house. I quietly sneaked in and went up to my room. I packed the rest of my stuff I needed in a bag and then sneaked out and into Jeff's room. I was surprised to see him there, I thought he'd be at his house. Knowing he was a deep sleeper I placed the note on the table by his bed. I saw the photo. I picked it up. It was of Jeff and I lying on our trampoline. I placed it down and left. I got back into my car and drove off into the night.  
  
Jeff.  
  
I didn't sleep well. I kept having bad dreams. I was glad when it was morning and I could wake up to a better world. Then I remembered about Matt and I. I reached for the photo I picked it up and realised that there was something under it, a piece of paper. I opened it out and recognised Matt's handwriting. I read it and then just sat on my bed and cried loudly. I must have woken Dad because he came in and sat next to me. I held out the note to him and he took it and read it. Then we sat crying together. After a few minutes I left to go and phone Shane. "Shane." "What do you want Jeff, you woke me up." "Is Matt there?" "I'll just go get him." I waited anxiously. "Jeff" "Yeah," "He's gone. He left a note saying he left you a letter saying why." "Yeah I got it. He says he needs to make it on his own and he's going away for a bit. I need to go phone his cell." "Jeff he left his cell here." " He's completely cut me off hasn't he?" "Yeah I think so Jeff." "What can I do?" "Wait for him to get in touch." "But he says he might not, he might just get a message to us. What if I've lost him forever?" "I don't know what to say Jeff. If he gets in touch with me then I'll try to get him to phone you or write or something." "What does it say on the note he left you?" "It says. Shane mate, I'm going away for a bit. Thanks for all the help and I won't forget you. Look after Jeff for me. Matt." I hung up. I didn't know what else to do. What else was there to say? I knew I had to tell people. Especially Mr McMahon. They were in Raleigh for Smack down, so I drove over. I went into the car park and parked up. I then went to go backstage. "Could I have your name please sir?" "Jeff Hardy." "I'm sorry Mr Hardy, you can't go in." "I need to see Mr McMahon." "I'm sorry your name's not on this list so I can't let you in." I walked off heading for one of the other entrances knowing that it was never watched. I quickly sneaked in and shut the door behind me. I made my way to Mr McMahon's office and knocked on the door. "Who is it?" "Jeff Hardy." He opened the door. "Your not supposed to be here." "I know but I had to come and see you. It's important." "You better come in then." I went in and sat down on one of the hard uncomfy seats he has. "What can I do for you then Jeff?" " I found this when I woke up this morning." I handed him the note. He read it slowly and then read it through again. "Has he definitely gone?" "Yeah, I phoned the guy he stayed with last night and he'd left a note there as well and taken his stuff." "Have you phoned his cell phone?" "No, He left that as well." " So you've no way of getting in touch with him?" "No." I said it quietly almost in a whisper. " I suppose we better announce this to the others then." "Yeah" I said a bit wary. "Don't worry Jeff, I'll keep the details private, they only have to know what you tell them. Come on then." He led me out of his office and told everyone he saw on the way that there was a meeting for all wrestlers in the general room. We waited in the room for a few minutes as they all arrived. I got lots of looks wondering why I was there. Mr McMahon cleared his throat and the room became silent. "As you know there has recently been some problems with Matt and Jeff and unfortunately overnight there has been some more developments." Mr McMahon gave me the nod to take over and I stood up slowly. "I know you all saw the fight that Matt and I had last night. Matt and I don't get on like we used to and I know we both did a lot of thinking last night and Matt made an important decision on the direction of his life. When I woke up this morning I found a note from him saying that he was leaving. I don't know where he's gone and I don't know when or if..." I paused because my voice was cracking and I didn't want to cry in front of everyone. "Or if he'll be back at all. I have no way of getting in touch with him but I need to, so if any of you see him or hear from him please ask him to get in touch with me. Thank you." I sat back down in my seat. "Thank you for coming so quickly, you may now continue with your jobs." People filed out of the room leaving Paul, Adam, Jay, Amy and Vince. " I'm willing to let Jeff stay around for a bit, so you lot can talk later. Now I need to talk to Jeff in my office." He walked out and I got up to follow without looking at the others. Back in his office Mr McMahon, handed me a mug of coffee. " Jeff, I know that you probably don't want to talk about this now but we need to decide what you're going to do from here." "I don't want to quit." "Then we need to decide how to fit this into the story line. I think we should use the truth." "How do you mean?" " I think we should say that after the fight Matt and you left separately and now you've found out that Matt doesn't intend to come back and you don't know where he is or how to get in touch with him. We could do some kind of appeal to Matt to come home. Then if he decides to come back in a few days time we can use that as the reason." "Do you think he will?" "I don't know, but I'm sure that he will watch." "I'd like to do an appeal, if he sees it he might change his mind." "I'd like to think he will too. I'll schedule to record it for next weeks Raw. You still won't be wrestling for 2 weeks though Jeff. I was serious when I said that. I'll phone you with the when and where of the recording." "Ok. Thank you Mr McMahon." "You've got an hour then I want you out of here ok?" "Ok." I left and went to Adam and Jay's changing room. I knocked on the door. "Who is it?" "Jeff" "Come in man." I walked in to find Amy and Paul were there as well. "What's going to happen?" Amy asked. "They're going to use it as the story line. I'm recording some kind of appeal for raw." "Did you get in touch with him last night?" "Yeah, he was at Shane's. I got Shane to put me on speakerphone but he walked out. He left there in the middle of the night leaving a note and his cell, then he came to dad's and took some more of his stuff and left a note by my bed." "What did the note say?" I paused for a bit. "Don't tell us if you don't want to?" "It's ok you can read it." I handed it to Amy and she read it out loud. "Dear Jeffy, Hey bro, I guess you're wondering why I'm writing to you. Well there are things I need to tell you that I can't say to your face. So I'm going to tell you now. I guess you had the same talk from Mr McMahon about us hating each other. I don't know how you felt when he told you that, but I know how I felt, and I thought it was true. I thought I hated you. I know now that that's not true, I'm jealous of you but I don't hate you Jeff. I hate myself, I'm my own enmity. It's like our roles were reversed, I was the little brother relying on the older one but I'm not. It's true though I do rely on you. You introduce me to all my friends and girlfriends and you give me courage, but you also scare me Jeff. I'm scared about losing you and I'm scared about not losing you. I'm scared that I'll never make it on my own in the big, wide world. I need to do it though Jeff. I need to face my fears. I'm going away for a bit. I'm not sure where to. I don't know how long for, but I need to go. I'm not sure if I can get in touch but I'll send a message somehow. I love you bro. Don't forget me. Matt .P.S give Dad and Amy my love." She didn't say anything after no one did. She just silently handed it back to me. I took it and then left and drove home.  
  
Matt.  
  
I didn't know where to go so I drove for an hour or so and then realising that I needed to sleep I found a motel and booked a room. I'd already managed to get into South Carolina, but I didn't know where to go next. After a few hours sleep I got my map out of my car and looked at it. I decided to drive down to Florida and fly out to somewhere in Europe from there. Now I was sure what I was going to do my appetite came back and I went to a café just down the road for some lunch. I spent the rest of that day in my motel room just watching TV. I didn't usually get time to watch so I really enjoyed it. I slept well that night although I still missed Jeff and Dad. I got up early the next morning and made good progress towards Florida. I didn't stop until it got dark when I found a motel and got a room there. I didn't sleep as well that night I missed Jeff a lot and wondered what he was up to.  
  
Jeff.  
  
I hardly slept at all the night after I told everyone, I lay awake wondering what Matt was doing. Wondering if he was lying awake somewhere thinking of me. I didn't think I could sleep but I must have dropped off because I was woken in the morning by the phone. "Hello." "Hello Jeff, it's Vince McMahon. I've set up to record at 11 this morning." I vaguely took notice of what he said and then had a shower when he had finished. I arrived slightly late for the recording having forgotten where I was going on the way. Once there I had to sit around and learn my lines for a bit anyway. I could tell everyone was getting a bit annoyed with me by the 15th take. I just couldn't remember the lines. Mr McMahon took me aside while they were setting up again. "Jeff, I know now that you're not gong to get this right, so if you forget your lines just carry on anyway. I'm sure you'll say the right thing." He was right. It worked really well and sounded a lot better than what was originally written. After the last take I headed home and went back to bed. I quickly fell asleep and didn't wake up until the next morning. I had to go and get some shopping because I didn't have any food but apart from that I just watched the carton network all day. It didn't make me laugh at all though. Amy, Paul and Adam phoned. I couldn't be bothered to pick up though. I let the machine get it and sat on the sofa listening to them talking to the machine. There was someone at the door as well but I ignored that too. When it was time for raw to come on I turned over to watch. Mr McMahon and Amy came out for my bit. Vince said how we'd been suspended and Matt had gone missing. Amy said that there was a message for Matt from me.  
  
Matt.  
  
I watched Raw in my motel room. I didn't pay much attention until Amy came out with Vince. I realised then that they'd changed the storyline. I watched with interest then. I was surprised to see Jeff because I didn't think he would be allowed back on yet. I listened as he spoke. "As you know Matt and I aren't getting on at the moment, and I'm sure that you've gathered that we've split up. What you don't know though is that Matt has left. I don't know where he's gone or whether or not he'll be back. I just want to give him this message. Hey bro, I miss ya man. I don't really hate you, I couldn't, you're my brother and I wouldn't want to have anyone else as a brother. You're not perfect but who is. Don't try to be perfect, everyone loves you for who you are. I want you to come home Matt, please call." I actually picked up the phone when he said that, but I hung up again. I couldn't, I didn't want to hear his voice. I phoned Shane instead, I knew he wouldn't be in, but I was still relieved when his machine picked up. "Hello, you've reached Shane's machine so leave a message after the beep, and if its you Matt, please phone Jeff." "Hey, man you know I can't phone Jeff. I need a clean break for a while. Just tell him I'm fine. I've decided where I'm going. I'm not going to tell you where but I promise to write to Jeff when I get there. Bye." I hung up. I didn't know what to do then, so I just lay back on my bed and fell asleep. I woke up early the next morning and left quickly. I would get to Florida easily that day. Then I would get a ticket on the first flight to Europe. I sang along to my tape as I drove and the journey went quickly. I parked up at the airport and went to the desk. "Hello. How can I help?" "I want to get to Europe as soon as possible please." "There's a flight to London leaving in 2 hours." "I'll take it please." "Mr Hardy?" "Yes." "Are you really running away?" "I'm not running away, but I am leaving." "Here's your ticket." "Thank you." I left before she could ask any more questions. The 2 hours seemed to last years but eventually the plane took off. I wrote to Jeff on the way.  
  
Dear Jeffy, I said to Shane that I would write to you when I got to my destination, but I'm actually on the plane. I'm going to London. I think I'm going to travel for a bit. I saw Raw. I couldn't call Jeff. I writing to you but I can't hear from you. I need to do this for myself. Please don't worry about me. I can look after myself, and I'm going to prove it to you. Tell everyone at WWF thank you. I will miss them all. Tell Dad I love him and I miss him. Tell him I'm sorry for leaving the way I did but I had to. I don't know what else to say, except have a nice life. I'm not sure whether you will hear from me again or not. Maybe when I've proved that I can look after myself. But you won't hear from me if I don't. I can't not succeed, it's too important. I used to think that about wrestling but I realise now that it is wrong I only thought that because I didn't have anything else to do. Now I do. I have a mission in life, and I'm going to for fill it Jeff. I'm going to do it. Bye, bye baby bro. Your loving big brother, Matthew Hardy.  
  
Jeff I sat and read Matt's letter again. I couldn't believe he was starting a new life in a new country without me. He's like my twin I've never been without him, I suppose its different for him though, he knows what its like to live without me. Did he decide that he preferred it before I was born, is that why he has left? I had so many unanswered questions and I couldn't even ask Matt. Dear Matty, I have no idea if you'll ever get this letter. I don't know if I'll send it even if I do get an address to send it to. Well, what do I say? I have so many things I want to ask you, I don't know where to start. I suppose I should start at the beginning. The beginning for me is that fight. I didn't think of any of this before that, I don't know if you did, but I didn't. I don't even understand why that fight started, or why I couldn't stop it, not it. Myself. I never thought that I would get so carried away. I know you won't believe me as I get carried away with most things but being violent against you isn't something I've ever thought of before. I also wanted to ask you if it's my fault. I don't mean the fight I know we are equally to blame for that, I mean you leaving. I can't help feeling that you're leaving because you don't want to be with me. I know you left the note saying you have to make it on your own, but didn't we make it together? I know you think I could do this on my own, but I can't. I need you Matt. You're my rock. You're the one person I truly trust. I know you think that I'm like I am because I'm really confident or something, but I'm not confident. You're my confidence. I feel like a kid that's lost my comforter. You're my back up Matt, I need you behind to me tell me who to trust, when I'm right and when I'm wrong, whether I can do things, If I'm being stupid. The list is endless. I need you for that and I don't know if I can cope without you. I don't know if you can cope without me either. I know you want to but I'm falling apart and I have my friends to prop me up. I hate to think what you're going through if anything, after all it's your decision and if you couldn't do it you could come home. You do know that Matt, that you can come home anytime and I will never think anything less of you. I'll love you always.  
  
Your baby bro,  
  
Jeff. I suddenly remembered a romantic movie I once watched with a girlfriend. In the movie, they sent a letter to the missing persons bank asking them to give it to them when he came for money. I couldn't do that though, unfortunately life isn't a movie.  
  
Matt I arrived in London and stood in the airport. "Well, what now Matthew?" I asked myself. I collected my bags and headed outside. There was a tourist information sign outside a little room. I knocked and walked in. "Hi, Can I help you?" "Yeah, I was wondering if you knew a cheap hotel I could stay in?" "Where were you thinking of?" "I'm not really sure. I haven't been here before, it was a spur of the moment thing." "Well, I can recommend this one." I was handed a piece of paper with an address on it. I went outside and hailed a cab. Can you take me here? I asked showing him the address. I got in and sat back. About fifteen minutes later he pulled up. "I can't go any further, it's one way. The place is just down there." I paid him, thanked him and picked up my bags. I headed down the road. It was busy and full of kids, who I would have thought should have been at school. It took me a while to find the place, when I eventually did I went in and asked for a room. "That will be £30." I looked in my bag for my wallet, but it wasn't there. I searched my pockets and my other bag, but I couldn't find it anywhere. "I can't find my wallet. Could I pay tomorrow?" "Do you think I'm stupid? I know your type. Now pay or get outta here." I tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen. I got out onto the street and checked my bags again. There was quite a lot of stuff missing. My watch and necklace, my wallet and all my cash cards. I checked to see if my photos were there but even they were gone. I couldn't believe it. The only thing I had left was my passport and some clothes, but even my expensive shirts were gone. I sat down on the curb and held my head in my hands. Something was blown into me by the wind, a piece of paper. I picked it up and looked at it. It was a photo of me and Jeff, but someone had tried to set fire to it. I was completely burnt off, but Jeff was there looking out at me. "I'm gonna do it Jeff." I said out loud. I wandered around London until it got dark and cold. I headed to a park I had walked past several times. The gate was locked, but I climbed over easily. I found a bench and lay down on it, looking up at the stars. "Great start Matthew." That cynical voice in my head said." One day on your own and you get all your stuff stolen and end up sleeping on a bench. You can't even get yourself any food." As soon as I thought of food, my stomach grumbled loudly. I was too excited on the plane to eat, and then I couldn't afford any. I couldn't sleep because of it either. I was too hungry and cold. I put on some more clothes and then decided to just fill one bag and dump the other. By the time I'd sorted out what to keep it was dawn and I noticed all the no trespassing signs so I climbed the gate and left to walk around aimlessly again. Jeff Dear Matt, I started work again today, the first day since our fight. Everyone was really nice, too nice. I must look a real mess because Amy was really trying to get me to shave and clean up. I did, Mr. McMahon told me I had to before I wrestled. I fought Raven. I think it sucked though. I didn't really get into it and I could tell Mr. McMahon was trying not to get angry. I wish someone would though. I know I'm being nasty and moody a lot, but I don't seem to have a reason not to be. You would get angry with me. You would tell me to snap out of it. Like you did with Mom. How did you get over that? I got angry and started being violent, but you stopped me. Who did you turn to Matt? I never knew. I guess I just thought that you were strong and could cope. I guess you couldn't. I think you needed someone, before that someone was Mom then when she died. Shit. I'm sorry for not realizing before Matt, but I guess you did kinda rely on me. I think I kept you happy. I hope you're happy now. Love Jeff I folded the letter and stuck it in my bag with the other one, locked up and left. I got in my car and drove to Amy's. She had insisted that I stayed at her place. Apparently I wasn't capable of looking after myself. Actually I knew that I wasn't, I sat up thinking about death last night, wondering if Matt would come to my funeral if I killed myself. I even got in my car to go and crash or something but I couldn't. I just kept thinking of Dad. He would be on his own. I pulled up at Amy's, slung the bag over my shoulder and knocked. "It's open." I walked in and found Amy doing her hair." Get ready we're going out." "Where?" "It's a surprise, now go and shower." I went and got in the shower leaving my bag in Amy's room. Fifteen minutes later I walked back in wearing just a towel to find Amy on her bed crying and reading my letter to Matt. I snatched it off her and put it back in my bag. "I'm sorry Jeff, I was just getting some clothes out for you, I couldn't stop myself from reading them." I sat down on the end of her bed with my back facing towards her. She put a hand on my shoulder. "I know you miss him Jeff. I do too, but we need to be strong, to save something for him, in case he decides to come back." I turned and rested my head on her shoulder and started to cry. We just sat there for about five minutes crying. When we stopped I looked at Amy and saw her makeup all over her face. "We've got to go in a minute, Paul and Joanie are picking us up. Go and wash your face." She looked up at me. "And get dressed." I went to sort myself out feeling a bit better than I had for days. I heard Paul and Joanie arrive and went to meet them. "Glad to see you're coming man." Paul slapped me on the back. Joanie hugged me. "Jeff, you need to start eating right, you're all skin and bone. You can start tonight, at the restaurant." We all went out. I didn't enjoy it though and I still didn't eat. I just wasn't hungry. Matt I spent the day wandering around aimlessly with no money, an empty stomach and no home. Well I suppose I do have a home but I can't go to it. I couldn't afford to go home even if I wanted to. I settled down for the night in shop doorway, I lay there half-asleep for hours, until I sensed someone looking at me. There was a guy on the other side of the street looking at me. I pretended I was still asleep. He was crossing the road towards me, I shut my eyes tighter hoping he would just leave me alone. "Excuse me sir?" Sir, no one called anyone on the street sir. I ignored him. He knelt down beside me and touched my shoulder. I sat up quickly and defensively. "It's ok. I work for the Salvation Army. We have a hostel just round the corner. It's full up for the night but you could come and get something to eat and warm up a bit. You could sleep on one of the chairs." I wasn't sure whether to trust him or not but I decided that it was worth a try, I was pretty sure I could defend myself against him if he tried anything. "Ok." I got up and picked up my stuff. He led me along a couple of roads and then stopped outside a building. I looked up and expected to see a sign but there was nothing. He called out and about 3 rough guys walked out from an alley. This wasn't right. I turned to run but there was some behind me as well. "Give us anything valuable and we won't hurt you." He sneered. I didn't believe him, but I didn't have anything valuable either. "I don't have anything." "I'll give you another chance so just hand your stuff over." "I told you I don't have anything its already been stolen." "Ah well then. Sorry." With that they turned on me. I tried my hardest to fight back, but there were seven of them. They left me beaten and unconscious on the floor. I came around sometime later to find my bag gone. I painfully sat up and looked around realizing I had no idea where I was. I had to move on though, what if they came back. I made it a few streets away and collapsed against a wall. A man walked out of the building I was leaning against and approached me. I tried to hobble away but I couldn't make it very quickly and he caught up with me. "Wait." I stopped. I wouldn't have been able to get away anyway. "Are you ok?" I nodded and went to walk off. "I work for the Salvation Army, we have a hostel we can help you." "Yeah? Well I've already fallen for that tonight and as you can tell I've already been robbed so you may as well leave me alone." "No really. Look." I looked where he was pointing and saw a sign. 'Salvation Army Hostel.' "Come in I promise nothing will happen." I just stood there, my confidence in other people having been broken. "Look through the window." I did as I was told and saw lots of comfy chairs and a cafeteria with some old men standing behind it. "Ok." I warily followed him in. "Would you like some tea or coffee?" "Coffee would be good." He gave me a coffee and sat me down in one of the chairs. I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up they had cleaned my face up and bandaged my ankle. "Feeling better?" "Yes, thanks." "No problem mate. I'm Andy." He held out his hand. I paused. "It's ok you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but it would be easier to talk to you if I knew your name." "Matt." "Can I ask where you're from? It's just your accent." "I'm from America, North Carolina." "What are you doing over here?" "I had a fight with my little brother. I hit him and I had to get things in my head sorted out so I came here, but then my stuff got stolen, twice and I ended up on the streets." He offered me some sandwiches, which I greedily took. We sat up for the rest of the night, just talking. Jeff "Jeff for Gods sake eat something." Amy had spent half an hour trying to persuade me to eat and was losing her patience, and so was I. Eventually I just grabbed a slice of pizza and stuffed it into my mouth. "Thank you Jeff." We sat there in silence for a minute before I suddenly started retching I ran to the toilet and made it just in time to be sick. Amy followed me in and sat on the edge of the bath stroking my back. I wasn't sick for long but I kept retching until I flopped back on the floor, semi-conscious. Amy shouted and Paul ran in from the kitchen and carried me upstairs to Amy's spare room where I was staying. "Shit." Amy swore. "Why doesn't Matt get in touch he's the only one who can get Jeff eating again, when he's like this." "He's been like this before." "Yeah, every time he splits up with a serious girlfriend but Matt sorts him out within a few days." "And now he's like it cause Matt's left and no one can help him." "Even his Dad has given up on him. He says he watched his wife die and he can't go through that again He won't even come and visit." I sat half-awake half not listening to them talking to me as though I wasn't there. Until they realized that we had to be at the arena in half an hour. Amy quickly packed our bags while Paul tried to bring me round. I walked down the stairs and out into the car. On the way there I tried to wake up a bit and succeeded enough to be allowed to wrestle. I was against Test. I ran down to the ring and started the match. About half way through I went for a swanton bomb, but as I got ready to jump the room started spinning. I blinked and focused. I jumped and landed it perfectly. I went for the pin but Andrew kicked out. We went at each other again and he got me in a sleeper hold. Him and the ref talked to me as I sat there on the mat, but then the room started spinning again. I blinked but it didn't work. "Jeff" I heard Andrew hiss at me. I aimed a punch at him and he let go. I went to get up but discovered that I'd run out of energy. Luckily Amy had been paying attention and hissed at the ref to look away as she did the twist of fate on Andrew and put my arm over him for the win. She helped me up and took me backstage. She sat me down as soon as she could and handed me a drink. I took as sip but started being violently sick again. "Jeff." I looked up. It was Mr. McMahon. "I think you need to go to the hospital." I tried to protest but couldn't. By the time we arrived there I was ok again and I left before the doctor even got a look at me. "Jeff." Amy ran after me. I stopped. " Jeff please go back. They won't do anything unless you say they can, I won't let them but just listen.." The whole world spun and the floor came up to meet me. Matt I spent the next couple of nights in the hostel. As I came down for breakfast the next morning Andy greeted me. "Hey Matt. There's news about some guy from North Carolina in all the papers. I thought you might want to read it." He handed me the paper and I looked at the open page, surprised to see a photo of Jeff. I read the title. 'Wrestler dying due to brothers disappearance.' I sat silently and read of how Jeff refused to eat or drink. A tear dripped on the page where it said he had about three days to live because he refused treatment. "Matt? Is that your brother?" I nodded. " You didn't know?" I shook my head. " I guess you can cope without him, but he can't cope without you." "I need to get home." "Here I'll pay for the flight." "No." "Matt, I insist, here's my address. You can pay me back." "Ok. I will do." "Now go quick get to your brother." I ran out of the hostel and hailed a cab. "Heathrow Airport as fast as possible please." The driver was good and got me there quickly. I went to the desk. " I nee the next plane to North Carolina please." "Sorry we have no seats today." I nodded at the paper open on Jeff's page behind her. "You see that guy? He's my brother." She went into the back and came out with her boss. "We may be able to fit you on the plane just leaving, if not I promise we will get you there as soon as possible." I thrust the money at him, and he handed it to the girl. "Sort that out." She took the money and he led me round the back through the restricted access areas to the plane. "You do have a passport don't you?" I nodded yes. He spoke to one of the airhostesses and she led me to a first class seat. I put the seatbelt on and the plane took off. I couldn't sleep on the flight, which seemed to take years. Eventually we landed. The airhostess came to collect me and led me quickly through all the checks. I had no luggage so I ran straight to the waiting cab, which sped me to the hospital. I ran into the reception to find Amy asleep on a chair. I shook her awake. "Amy. Amy." "Matt you're here?" "Yeah but where's Jeff." Amy hailed a nurse who looked worried when she said it. "I'm afraid Jeff's heart just failed, we are trying to resuscitate him." "I need to see him. I know he'll be ok if I can just see him." The nurse looked hesitant but led him there anyway. The room was full of doctors and nurses shouting over the beep that meant that Jeff's heart had stopped. I looked for a flicker of life on the flat line but there was none. "Let him through." I heard a doctor shout and suddenly there was a pathway through to Jeff. I ran to him. "Jeff. Jeffy, come on, come back. I'm here, I came back as soon as I knew. Please Jeffy come back too." The beeping stopped and a flicker of life appeared on the screen. "Thank God." I heard a nurse say. "No thank Vince McMahon and his links to the worlds papers." I heard someone reply, but I didn't really care who or what had saved Jeff as long as he was still alive. I spent the rest of the day there holding Jeff's hand and sleeping with the reassuring beep of the heart monitor in the background. I spent the next day there as well. Until Paul came. "Matt." I looked up. " Here eat this." He handed me a burger and a mug of coffee. "I'm not hungry." "That's what Jeff said." I took it and felt better after having eaten. "Why don't you go home and get changed?" "I can't leave Jeff." "I'll stay with him and call you if anything happens. Look, take my cell." I took it and headed home in Paul's car. I opened the door with Jeff's key and went up to my room. I looked around before having a shower and changing. I went back downstairs and had something to eat before locking the door and leaving. I knew that I would have to leave again as soon as Jeff was better, but this time I would stay in touch. Jeff I looked around me. I was in a strange white place. I could hear Mom's voice. She was calling me. "Mom?" I shouted to her, my voice was strangely quiet. "Jeffy baby you're not supposed to be here yet. Go back baby." "But Mom, he's gone." "Jeff, Jeffy, come on, come back" "He's there for you now Jeff. Go to Matt." I followed Matt's voice and things went black again. That white light again. I could see the white light again, but this time it was different. It hurt my eyes. "Jeffy?" "Mom?" "No Jeff it's Matt." I turned my head to look at him. "Where am I?" "You're in hospital Jeff. You starved yourself." "You weren't here and I couldn't stop." "I'm back now Jeffy." "Don't ever leave me again. Matt. Promise me." "I can't promise Jeff." "Please?" The darkness came back, he didn't promise. I've got to wake up or he might go again. I fought the darkness, but nothing happened. Matt I couldn't promise him. I haven't broken a promise to him before and I'm not about to start doing it now. I sat by his bed holding his hand. It had been a day since he woke up and he was still in a deep sleep most of the time. A few times he looked like he was going to wake up but he didn't. They were feeding him by a drip, they had been since I came because I was allowed to sign the form for him. They weren't sure whether to or not because he didn't want to, but I knew he did it because I wasn't here and I was here now wasn't I. Amy walked in, and stood behind me with her hands resting on my shoulders. I looked up at her but she was just watching him with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry Matt." "Why? You've done nothing wrong." "I didn't look after him." "You tried your best. He's not easy to cope with when he gets like this." "You manage." "I don't manage, that's why I left." "But you came back." "But I can't stay." "I thought you coming back meant you were staying." The tears in her eyes spilled out down her cheeks. "I'm sorry Amy but I can't stay." "Why not?" "It's hard to explain." "You owe it to me to try." "Well...I've always relied in Jeff to give me courage and confidence. I'm not sure if he knows it but I rely on him. He doesn't have to do anything just be there. When I hit him I thought I hated him, but I actually envy him. He shows his feelings to anyone and I can't do that. I'm scared of being hurt. So I decided that I had to prove it to myself that I could look after myself, and I haven't done that yet, so I have to go again." "No, don't go." A weak voice came from the bed. "Jeffy." He looked at me with terrified eyes. "Please Matt. I can't cope." "You can Jeff we both can." "No. You're like my other half when you're not here a part of me feels missing and I can't live without it." "You have to learn Jeff and I can't help you do that." "But what if something happens to you and I never find out." "I'll stay in touch." I was pleading with him now to let me leave. "But what if I need you?" "I'm not going yet Jeffy. You need to get better first." "I don't want to if you're not going to stay." "Jeff you're being silly now. You have to get better." "Why? Give me a good reason." "Because you're a part of me too, and I need that reassurance that you're there to go on." He closed his eyes. "Well we make a right pair then don't we." "We do." I think he slept then. He didn't speak again and his breathing became deep. Jeff The darkness cleared and I felt my whole body moaning. I opened my eyes. Adam and Jay were there. "Jeff are you ok?" It was Adam speaking. "Where's Matt?" "Its ok. He's just gone back to Amy's house. He hasn't slept in days." "He's definitely there?" "Amy wouldn't let him leave even if he wanted to." "Can we get you anything?" That was Jay. "Yeah, some skittles?" "Only you would start off on skittles." "What? I can't do with this hair." I pointed to my mop of blond hair. "I bet it's wondering what hit it. It hasn't been blond for ages." "I'll have to do something about it soon" Jay came back in and tossed a bag of skittles on the bed. "Cheers Man." The door opened behind him. "Jeez, not already." It was Matt. "What?" "I was kinda hoping that this would put you off skittles." "As if anything could." "Don't you ever get sick of them?" Adam asked. "Nah. I can't it's not possible for me." "Yeah well each to their own I suppose." "What's yours then?" "Allanah." "Aw sweet." Matt butted in. "Aw sick." I pointed out. "What about you Jay?" "Sunglasses" "I could have guessed that too. Matt?" "Travelling." I didn't say anything. I just closed my eyes hoping that they would get the message and leave. They did. I heard them go and take Matt with them. I lay there with my eyes closed. Just thinking. Matt I just wish Jeff could understand why I need to leave. I want to talk to him about it, but I can't, every time I mention it he stops listening. He's even had the nurses make me leave just for mentioning it. I don't know what to do. "Matt?" Amy pushed the door open. "Can I come in?" "Yeah, sure." I moved over to let her sit down. I was at Jeff's house. I was staying there since he was still in hospital. "Are you alright? I thought you'd be with Jeff." "I can't." "What do you mean I can't?" "Jeff won't let me." "He won't let you visit him? Why not?" " I keep trying to explain why I have to leave to him but he won't listen. He just gets me kicked out and he says I can't go back until I promise to stay." "Then promise." "I can't. I have to leave." "I don't understand why you're still here then." "Because I can't leave Jeff when he's like this. I can't leave him until I know he's going to be ok." "What are you going to do then?" "I don't know I have to explain to him somehow." "Why don't you write to him then? I'll deliver it for you." "Thanks. I will do." "I'll leave you to it then." I wrote to Jeff explaining how I felt. I hoped he would read it but I doubted that he would. When he set his mind to something it took more than a letter to change it. I gave Amy the letter and she went to give it to him while I stayed at Jeff's house and watched the Crow. Jeff I looked up as Amy walked in. "Jeff what the hell do you think you're up to?" "What?" "Matt?" Damn I didn't know she knew. "It's none of your business." "I think it's my business if you're driving one of my friends away." "Ah. So he's leaving again is he then? Things get difficult so he just disappears." "You know it's not like that, and no. He's not leaving and doesn't intend to yet." "But he's going to." I almost whispered. "Yes and you're driving him to it." "I'm not having any effect on him whatsoever he's doing it on his own accord. He doesn't need me anymore remember." "Then why did he come back?" "I don't know. Maybe he felt guilty." "Maybe because he loves you and still needs you just in a different way to what he used to. He could have stayed hidden and not faced up to the problems here." "He caused the problems and so he has to sort them out. That's why he came back." "The problems that he caused are sorted Jeff. The ones left are your problems. You've caused them but Matt's having to correct them and you're not making it possible. I'm surprised he's still here. I'm even more surprised that he's still making an effort. Actually I'm not. I always knew that Matt would sort out the world's problems if he could. But I'll tell you know if I was him I'd be on the next plane out of here. Maybe that's what he's written. Why don't you read it and see?" She threw a letter on my bed. I ignored it. "Aren't you going to read it then?" I rolled over in the bed and turned my back to her. "Jeff read it." I started to cry as she shouted me. Her raised voice must have alerted a nurse, because a couple came in and made her leave. A nurse came in and sat next to me. "Are you alright?" She asked me quietly. I ignored her. "Do you want anything?" I shook my head and she left. I didn't move I just lay there crying. I don't know how long for, it must have been for an hour or so because the next thing I knew a nurse brought me some dinner and sat by me to make sure I ate it. I just left it on the plate. "You have to eat it." I ignored him. It was easier ignoring people they usually left me on my own when I did, but this one wasn't going to be so easy. He picked up my fork and put some food on it, then he grabbed my hand and placed the fork in my hand. "Don't make me put it in your mouth for you." "Fine. I won't." I grabbed the tray and threw it across the room. The plate smashed against the wall and food went everywhere. I leapt up from my bed and ran towards the door but the nurse grabbed hold of me before I got there. I kicked him but he held me tight and called for help. A doctor ran in and gave me an injection of something and the world went black.  
  
Matt The hospital phoned me to tell me that they'd had to sedate Jeff. I decided to go and see him. He couldn't stop me when he was like that. I looked at him lying asleep in the bed. There was still a food stain on the wall from where he threw his food. I sat down next to him and took his hand. I was clenched into a fist around something. I looked to see what it was. I couldn't get it out of his fist but I knew what it was anyway. The letter that I'd written to him. "I don't know if you can hear me Jeff, but I'll be gone when you wake up so I'll tell you now anyway. I don't think I'm asking much, just for you to read my letter. That's all I ask." I sat wracking my brain for something else to say. "You've had loads of get well cards from our fans. Well I suppose they're your fans. I'm not involved anymore, except that Vince wants me to do an interview about your condition. I've said no. I think Amy's going to do it now, it just wouldn't have felt right if I did it. I don't belong there anymore. I don't really know where I belong but its not here. Sometimes I stay awake all night wondering if I'll ever belong anywhere again." Someone coughed behind me. "Mr. Hardy. Jeff will wake up soon and the doctor wants to talk to you before you leave." I got up and followed the nurse to the doctor's office. I sat on a comfy leather seat and waited for the doctor. "Mr. Hardy." I got up and shook the doctors hand before sitting down again. "I glad to hear that you've come to see Jeff we were beginning to wonder what had happened to you." "Jeff asked me not to come again. I needed to see him and this was the only opportunity I had." "Why doesn't he wan to see you?" "Because I'm going away once he's better." "Do you think that's wise?" "It might not be too good for Jeff but I know he can handle it, and staying would be worse for me." "How do you mean worse for you?" "I couldn't handle staying here. I love Jeff, he's my brother but I can't handle being with him 24,7 anymore." "So you're going to stop all contact." "No, but I do have to leave." "Well, it's not really my business what you do. I'm just here to look after Jeff." "and.." "And. He's very depressed." "I've figured that much, but what are you going to do about it?" "We can only be there for him. Physically he's fine, a little weak from the lack of food still, but in normal circumstances he would be discharged now." "Then why isn't he?" "Because we don't think he should be left alone and we don't think he should stay with you." "Are you saying I can't look after my own brother." "I'm saying that after what has happened we don't think that this is the right time for you two to be together. You said yourself that you can't be with him 24,7. We just want to keep him in as long as possible, but unfortunately I think that he will soon discharge himself." I left soon after that. The conversation had left me confused about what I wanted. Jeff I woke up having dreamt that I'd flipped and thrown food everywhere. Then I saw the stain on the wall and realized that I hadn't dreamt it. Damn. I wanted to get discharged and that wasn't going to help. My hand was sore. I'd had it clenched in a fist around something and it was digging in. I slowly opened it and looked inside. There was the letter from Matt. I unfolded it and started to read. Dear Jeff,  
  
I realize that you don't want to see me, but you need to know what I have to say, and if you won't listen to it, then you'll have to read it. I'm sorry that I left like I did, I realize now that it was stupid. I was being selfish and not considering what was right for you. I'm considering that now but I have to consider what is right for me too. I know you don't want me to leave and I realize that it won't help you. But staying won't help me. I've never really thought about what I want. When I was little I wanted to be a wrestler but as I grew up I didn't think about it anymore. I thought I knew. You and me were going to be professional wrestlers together. You still wanted it, people think I wanted it more than you but I didn't I wanted something to cling to and that dream was it. I clung to it not realizing that it wasn't what I wanted. I thought it would make me happy but it didn't. I felt happiest when visiting the hospitals to see the kids. Making someone else happy made me happy. I know now that that is what I want to do with my life and I know wrestling makes some people happy, but I don't get to see their reactions and that is what I need. I'm not sure what I'm going to do to make people happy. There's someone I need to go and see to decide that. But I can't go until you're better and until I can see that expression of happiness on your face. Please Jeff. I still need you I really need your support in this.  
  
Love Matt I needed to talk to Matt but I knew I couldn't without getting upset or angry. I really needed to talk to someone anyway. I pressed the attention button by my bed and a nurse came in. It was the guy who had been there when I flipped out. "I'm sorry about earlier." "That's ok. I understand." "You don't understand." My voice was strangely flat, I could see him trying to read into it, but there was nothing to read. "Do you want to help me understand then?" I nodded. "I'm listening if you want to talk." "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" "A little sister." "Are you close?" "Not as close as I would like to be." " Matt and I used to be really close." "Wait a minute I've got a better idea. Do you want to go for a walk?" I nodded. " Are you ok to get yourself up?" I nodded again. "Ok then I'll be outside when you're ready." I got some clothes and got dressed. It felt good to be up and about. I left the room and the nurse, Daniel was waiting for me. We silently walked outside. We walked around the hospital as we talked. "I'll do it. And Daniel..." "Yeah?" "Thanks." "Anytime you need to talk again, you know where I am." "I'll see you later." I left him and walked back to my room. Once there I got a pen and paper and replied to Matt's letter. Then I walked down to the hospital shop and sent the letter to my house or Matt. I headed back to my room and collapsed on the bed when I got there. All I'd done was walk around for ½ an hour and I was knackered. Too much lying in bed. Well tomorrow that was going to change. Matt I heard the mail come early the next morning and went to pick up Jeff's mail for him. Amy was going to take it in to him. I flipped through, a few bills. I opened them and paid for him. A letter from some friends, some junk and one addressed to me. I recognized Jeff's writing and opened it quickly. I took it through and sat on the sofa to read it. Hey Matty,  
  
We're kinda getting into a habit of this letter-writing thing aren't we. I have more than one letter for you. The others are in my bag here. I started writing to you when you went away and I kept them for you in case you sent me an address. Well I supposed you've saved me sending them. If you come in when you get this you can read them. I almost got up and ran to the hospital then but I decided to read the rest of the letter first. I think I understand now why you need to leave, but I hope you understand that all I want from you is my big brother back. I didn't think I asked too much of you, but I probably do. We ask too much of each other. I ask too much when I want you to stay, and you ask too much when you want me to be happy about you leaving. I can't Matt. I'll try for you but there's nothing more I want except my family back. You, Mom and Dad. I want other things too Matt. I want someone who will make me happy and love me for who I am. I can't write anymore. I can't think of anything else to say and the things I want to say I don't know how. Please come and see me.  
  
Jeffy I ran outside and got in my car. I quickly ran back to lock the door and then drove as fast as I could to the hospital. I ran in and headed to Jeff's room. I knocked on the door. "Hey Matt." "Hey Jeff." "Thanks for coming." "That's ok." "Shit, you're my own brother, so why does this seem so awkward?" "We need to talk about this Jeff, otherwise things will never be normal between us again." "Things will never be normal again." "I'm sorry Jeff." My voice broke as the tears welled up in my eyes. I turned away from him but he took my shoulder and turned me back to him. "I'm sorry too, Matty." His eyes filled with tears and I hugged him. "It's your fault." "What is?" I asked letting go of him worried. "That I'm crying. If you hadn't I wouldn't of cried." "Well one of us was going to so it may as well of been me." "What are we going to do know Matty?" "We're going to talk and decide what we need to do together." Jeff I stood at the airport watching the plane taking off taking Matt out of my life again. I watched it until it was just a speck on the skyline. Well what know Jeffrey Nero Hardy? I asked myself. I was back at work and I had to go home and pack before I went to meet up with everyone else at the arena. I got in my car and drove off back home. I let myself in and went up to my room. I lay back on my bed and closed my eyes. "No you don't Jeff." I sleepily opened my eyes. It was Amy. "Come on." She picked up my arm and tried to pull me out of bed. "I knew you would be like this. Now get up." I pretended to go back to sleep I'd just closed my eyes when something cold and wet hit my face. I warily opened my eyes again. Amy was standing at the end of my bed with a super soaker. "Are you going to get up yet?" She asked soaking me again. "That's it." I yelled leaping off my bed and grabbing her round the waist I pulled her downstairs and threw her into my pool. She grabbed my leg on the way in and pulled me in after her. A few hours later we were drying out when a crowd of people burst threw the door. "JEFF Get the Hell out of Bed." Someone shouted. "It's ok. He's up." Amy replied. "What is this?" I shouted suddenly angry. "We just came to help Amy in case she couldn't get you out of bed." Adam answered calmly. "Why would she need help?" "Well now Matt's gone. We thought, you know." "What that I can't cope without him? That's it isn't it? You think that without Matt I'm nothing. You're wrong and I'm going to prove it to you. Now get out of my house." "Jeff..." They began to argue. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE." They left me and I went back up to my room. I was going to show them. I packed my bags grabbed my car keys. I locked the door after me and drove to the airport. I finally arrived at the arena and walked straight in Mr. McMahon's office. He welcomed me back from my sick leave and I told him my plan. He wasn't too happy and suggested I thought about it more. "I don't need to think about it more. I know exactly what I'm doing." "But what if I don't agree?" "Then I'll find someone who will. I'm going to do it whatever you say." "Ok. I'll sort it out for next week if I can but I can't promise that I can find anyone else up for it." "Thanks Vince. You won't regret it." "I have a feeling that I will." Matt I arrived in England and went to fetch my luggage. I collected it and made my way round the front. I looked at the sea of expectant faces. The people clutching and the notices, suddenly aware that there would be no one there to meet me. I watched as fathers met up with their kids, wives with husbands, mothers with daughters and just friends. I felt lost and on my own. Who was there for me? Then out of the sea of faces I saw someone I recognized, I looked down at their notice. MATTHEW HARDY. I was wrong, there was someone there for me. "Hi Matt." "Hey Andy, how did you know I was coming back on this plane?" "You phoned me yesterday remember?" "Yeah, sorry I must have lost my brain on the flight." "Well anyway I thought I would come and meet you. Make sure you got started right this time." "Thanks." "Come on then." I picked up my bags and carried them out to Andy's car. I got in next to him and we left the airport behind. "Where are we?" I asked as he parked up outside a house. "My house and your new place." "How do you mean?" "Well I don't need a place this size to myself so I thought you may as well stay with me while you get yourself sorted, or for as long as you want." "You don't have to..." "Matt, I live here all on my own. It's a big house and I get lonely, now will you stay and keep me company?" "Yes, but only until I sort myself out." "If it makes you feel better you can pay me rent, and don't worry about getting yourself sorted, we can make it like a permanent thing." "It's a deal." Andy led me in and gave me a tour of the house. My room was on the top floor of the 3-story house. After sorting my things out I went downstairs to discover Andy making some lunch. We sat and ate it in the kitchen and then Andy said he had to go out for a bit, so I decided to let Jeff know where I was. I pulled out my newly bought cell phone, as my other didn't work in England. "Hello?" "Hey Jeffrey." "Matt? Where are you man?" "I'm at my new place in England." "You don't waste time do you?" "Nah. One of my friends from last time was after someone to move into his house with him." "Lucky you, now what's the address?" I gave him the address and described the house to him. "Looks like you've got a good thing going there." "What about you Jeff? What are you up to?" "Nothing much, just wrestling and hanging out." "Back working again then? Is it going ok?" "Yeah fine, no ring rust. Things are going really well." I sensed something in his voice. "How well?" "Really well. Look I gotta go, Bye." "Jeff?" He'd gone. Great, I've been away for a day and already Jeff was up to something I didn't like the sound of, not that I knew what it was. I decided to call Vince and ask him, but he wasn't much help either. He kept avoiding the topic and when I eventually forced him onto it he clammed up and said he'd promised Jeff he wouldn't say anything. I decided to go and watch some TV as the jet lag was starting to get to me. I fell asleep in front of the TV and was woken some hours later by Andy coming home with a pizza and some beer. "Matt? I've brought our dinner." I went into the kitchen and fetched some plates, a beer glass for Andy and some coke for me. I took them back in and put them down on the table. "Come on Matt. You've gotta celebrate your moving in." "No thanks Andy." "Are you alright?" "Yeah fine, I just don't drink." "Ah well. We'll celebrate with coke then." Jeff " I think you're completely mad, but I've organized it anyway. Against my better judgement, I hasten to add. I've even found an opponent for you." "Who?" "You'll find out in a second. I've just sent for him." I patiently waited for whoever Vince had sent for to turn up. It seemed like ages though until someone knocked at the door. "Come in," Vince called. The door opened and I looked out to see Chris Irvine or Jericho. " Jeff, you will be fighting against Chris." "Cool, Thanks for agreeing to this Chris." "No problem, it sounds like fun." "Well, I think you're both crazy, but anyway there is one thing I both want you to do before you leave this office." "Sign a statement claiming all responsibility?" Chris joked. "Good idea, but no. I want both your words that you won't say what's going on here. I don't want anyone to know what's going on." He looked at us and must have seen we both didn't want to agree. "Ok then. Jeff you can tell Matt as long as he agrees to keep it secret and Chris you can tell your wife on the same arrangement." "Ok, I promise." I agreed. "Yeah, I promise too." "Ok so there's a week until the pay-per-view I want to start off the feud tonight." "Great" Chris and I said in unison. We left his office and were fighting each other a few hours later. He won but hit me with the belt behind the ref's back. When I finally arrived home. I picked up the phone and called Matt. I intended to tell him, but somehow during the conversation I avoided it and ended up saying bye and hanging up with out mentioning it. I knew that Matt knew that I was up to something but wasn't sure what. I made a mental note not to tell him. I had a weird feeling somewhere deep inside that I shouldn't tell him. I wasn't sure why. Maybe he would try to convince me not to or something, I don't know. I didn't care right then all I wanted to do was sleep so I did. The week went quickly and soon I was packing my bag to go and face Jericho in a match that could make or break my career. The match had been announced on heat and was making waves through everyone in the business. I still hadn't told Matt. I arrived at the arena and avoided everyone possible so I could get to Jericho's changing room as quickly as possible and finish planning the match. "Erm...Jeff?" "Yeah." "I think I made a mistake." "Why? You're not backing out are you?" "No it's not that, but I phoned Matt yesterday because I hadn't talked to him for ages." "And you didn't realise that I hadn't told him." I finished for him. "Yeah." " Don't worry about it. He would have found out tonight anyway." "I'm so glad you're not pissed off about it." "It's cool. Now lets sort out this match." Matt I watched nervous as Jeff's entrance music started and he danced his way down to the ring, slapping hands with his fans on the way. I watched him stop and look at the ring, mentally preparing himself once more, for what he was about to do. He got to the ring and climbed higher and higher before leaning back and pulling the gunz. Jericho made his way out and Jeff climbed into the top cage of the three on top of each other. A triple cage match, why the hell Jeff? Why? Jericho climbed up the outside of the cages and posed on the top before jumping in after Jeff. They stood on the steel mesh and faced each other, from the floor they heard the bell ring, I noticed a quick nod of good luck between the two before they locked up. Jericho broke the lock up by punching Jeff in the face, but Jeff replied by swinging Jericho face first into the side of the steel cage, his face grazed against the mesh. Jericho turned round and clothes lined Jeff forcing him to the floor before kicking him several times. He then climbed up the inside of the cage and performed a lionsault on Jeff who was just about to attempt to stand, which sent them both flying through the mesh floor of the cage and into the one below. Jeff recovered first and prepared to swanton bomb Jericho, but Jericho recovered in time to climb up the side of the cage and low blow Jeff. Jericho then decided to suplex Jeff but Jeff recovered and pulled Jericho higher up the side of the cage and back into the smaller top cage. They started to exchange blows whilst climbing higher until they were both balancing on the top of the top cage. Jericho was beginning to lose his balance so Jeff carefully kicked him in the stomach maintaining his own balance but sending Jericho flying down, landing on the top of the bottom cage, which was larger than the others, and so had a metre or so showing outside the middle cage. Jeff then stood up and pulled the gunz. "No Jeff" I shouted out loud as he prepared to do a swanton bomb. He looked down and then launched himself off the top cage twisting in mid air so he was falling head first towards Jericho. "Noooooo" I screamed as I realised that he had misjudged the distance and was heading for the corner of the metal cage. I screamed but it wasn't loud enough to cover up the sickening crunch as Jeff's head hit the corner of the metal cage. I was unable to turn away; my body forced me to watch his limp body fall to the ground, going through the announcer's table on the way. I still couldn't turn away, I was compelled to listen to J.R's shouts for help as Jerry knelt by Jeff's limp body, the pool of blood round his head was quickly increasing in size. The camera focused on Jericho standing shocked on the cage, before focusing on the emergency team running in. It focused back onto Jeff as Jerry desperately tried to find a pulse and someone else attempted to stop the bleeding from his head. " I have to get to him," I shouted out loud, running desperately round the house to find my stuff. "Jeff, Jeff" I shouted aimlessly as I ran round the confusing mass of corridors. "Can I help you?" Someone asked. "I need to find my brother, Jeff Hardy." The guy gave me directions and I ran off again. I burst through the door but only found Jericho. "Where's Jeff?" Jericho told me and I ran off again to find him. Finally I burst through the door and saw Jeff. "Jeff you're still alive?" "Yeah man. I'm fine. What's got into you and what happened to England?" "I...I..." "Sit down and calm down, then tell me slowly." I sat down and gathered myself together. "Jericho phoned me yesterday and mentioned what you were doing, so I left to come back here. Then on the plane I fell asleep and dreamt you did a swanton off the top cage aiming for Jericho on the bottom ..." "Good idea." "Jeff" I growled. "Why? What happened?" "You missed and went head first into the corner then through the announcer's table to the floor." "Owww. Was I dead?" "I should think so." "Look Matt. I'm fine. There's another hour until the triple cage match and I'm not gonna do anything stupid." "I wish I could believe you." "Anyway, how long are you here for?" "Jeff?" "Yeah" "Can I move in with you? I was wrong about leaving." "Wow. I never thought in a million years you would admit that you were wrong. Of course you can move in." "Thanks I think" "I was just saying you've changed. You seem older and wiser now. You're a bit more worldly." "But I still ended up back here." "That's because you belong here. Now scram I need to get ready and you need to get your job back." "I'm already gone." THE END 


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